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“Having Gem in our life was a game changer.”
– Ina & Karl
Hi, I'm Gem. I spent eight years caring deeply for families as a full spectrum doula, witnessing birth, death, grief, courage like I'd never seen, pain, pleasure, and the breathtaking untameable wilds of human life. I walked alongside my clients with the utmost reverence, gentleness and respect, softly singing to them as they rocked and breathed and roared their babies and higher selves into existence. I advocated the house down and helped empower and guide clients in accessing trauma informed care. It was my soul/sole calling for those eight precious years and I never imagined I would give it up.
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But I saw over and over how giving birth in empowered liberation is not the end of the story for parents. I witnessed folks who gave birth with awe-inspiring autonomy and power get railroaded into unequal power dynamics in their marriages and families. I ran into parents years after their births and saw them soul-drained and dog tired. Unsure of where to pivot in their careers, wanting to do good work and serve the world but feeling aimless, stuck and burnt out. Patriarchy and its systemic claws dig so deep. Its forces don't disappear after the childbearing year—for some, they intensify.
I am here to hold space for women, trans and non binary people making lasting change and impact in their lives and that is why I offer coaching.
My skills and capacities as a doula can no longer be limited to accompany folks exclusively in the childbearing time. I have always been here to serve people in their deeper journey of wellness, one which lasts a lifetime.
You, as a woman, trans or non binary person, have the right and power to live free, live well, heal and embrace pleasure. I have deep faith in your capacity to sustain true liberation for yourself.
You know you deserve better. At some point, you can't deny the truth any longer that the patterns which ail you have been playing out in your life for years, maybe decades, often generations. You are READY FOR CHANGE.
RELATIONSHIPS/ COUPLES COACHING
All the two of you want is to be in loving relationship with one another.
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But why does it feel like one of you is doing significantly more of the care work in this family? Why does it feel like suddenly you have your actual children, and then an additional child/ person to take care of in your adult spouse? Neither of you ever intended to fall into this dynamic--in fact, you explicitly committed to doing things differently from your parents when you decided to have children! How did it end up like this and how do you heal?
Or you are wondering...is opening the relationship a good idea, and how would you go about that exactly? Both partners have needs and although you've always been monogamous, the way you're evolving together suggests some space or new exploration could be hugely beneficial. But you do not want to sacrifice this loving bond you've worked so hard to nourish.
Let's explore your deep dynamics together. It is time to invest in communication skills, relationship paradigms, and ways of caring for yourself in relationship that you may not have been taught before. Investing this time and energy now will have positive impacts for years and generations to come. Repatterning and learning true healthy relating can massively heal trauma, regulate the nervous system, soothe inner children, and rejuivenate the soul. You deserve it, you can have it, and I can help you get there.
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MONEY & WORK
Women and gender non conforming people are taught not to feel safe
- wanting money
- receiving money
- spending money
- and holding money
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But we live in a capitalist society in which money gives us access to safety, security, and pleasure. This creates massive dissonance and stress we often don't realize it is possible to opt out of. Operating with an unhealed relationship to money becomes an excuse why you haven't pursued a life path we wanted. It can become an excuse why you aren't resting more, why you haven't had a proper vacation in years. Healing your relationship to money means being able to receive (vulnerable!!) and being able to show up in the world and serve (work) in a way that is exactly suited to your talents and energies. You are ready to stop believing the misogynist lie that it is unethical to receive money for your work. You are ready to receive love in new ways and stretch your imagination of what's possible for your life.
You were designed for an absolutely unique purpose and it's not meant to be a drain to live it! I want to help you in this sacred work! I want to help you unfold into your deeper mission!
​SELF CARE & HEALING
You want to love and care for yourself but you're not even one hundred percent sure what that means at this point...You may feel overwhelmed with exhaustion, with care commitments, with "little t" or "capital T" trauma. You may actually be keenly aware of your growth edges and challenges and get down on yourself for why you "haven't healed more by now," or why you're running the same patterns you thought you'd gotten rid of in therapy.
You want to feel safe receiving pleasure in your body. You want to understand your cycles and hormones. You want to stop grinding your teeth at night or peeing every time you sneeze. You may have already invested what feels like a lot of money, time and energy into "fixing your problems," and not seen the results you wanted. You're frustrated, hurt and hardening towards your own body and spirit—the expectations on them are so harsh, you feel like you're not living up to some kind of standard.
Self care feels like just another thing to add to an already packed to-do list and who the hell has the time or energy for that? What the fuck? The more you think about it, the more stressed out you become. It's counterproductive and it's fucking frustrating. You may even be numbing and acting like you don't care, it's fine, just keep getting through one more night, one more day.
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There is a way through this. It is never going to feel like a "convenient time" to press pause and invest in your well being like this. If you're waiting for the moment when you have X amount of money in your account, or your last kid goes to school, I'm telling you, those are just circumstances, and you'll find new excuses even then why "it's not the right time" to book coaching.
Now is the time.
Investing in your well being with me will help you get to the ROOT of these patterns and unlearn them. There is a life of abundance, relaxation and pleasure awaiting you. Don't wait until you're dead to reach out and grab it.
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SCHEDULING & LIFE RHYTHM
You want to be free. You want to wake up every day and go where the wind takes you. Your vision of a dream life is to have nothing on the planner, ever. Only follow your urges and simply be present, and create.
But....the reality of what you actually experience on a daily basis is frankly a bit chaotic. It varies from catatonic to frenzied. Work either feels like it has to get done the moment it appears, or you procrastinate, putting it off later and later until it either gets done in a stressed haze or doesn't get done at all.
If you're neurodivergent, you may have tried a thousand different planners and schedules and given up on them within a few days or hours. Thinking about scheduling and planning may stress you the fuck out, bring up feelings of shame, guilt, obligation, and the fear that you are not enough.
I want to help you craft a rhythm for your life that truly works for you.
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I want you to experience true rest times, every single day and every single week that are JUST for you and your well being. When someone asks you to hang out, I want you to easily, with no effort, be able to respond when would work best for you.
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I don't want you to somehow repeatedly find yourself overscheduled, running and rushing from place to place, nervous system activated, missing meals and sleeping at odd times.
I can help you build a SUSTAINABLE life rhythm you can thrive in.
Because dancing is much more fun and pleasurable to a rhythm.
The investment for this healing container is 140€ per session
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Or book the Self Care Bundle! Six sessions for 800€
As your coach, I understand how complex it is to follow your gut and follow your dreams. It does not mean the path is laid out in rainbows and clouds. It means you're willing to show up to the hard work of becoming intimate with your resistance to abundance, deciding you believe in healing, and asking for help & support. Living well and serving others is spiritual path which often breaks me down to build me back up again. For every new space I've made for life and sweetness, something has died in me which wanted to cling to old ways. It is tenderness and slowness in holding the death that has made even loss and grief a profoundly sweet part of the process.
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I know it can be scary to change. But what we are taught to fear often contains seeds of our greatest healing.
As your coach, you can trust that I am walking the talk and guiding from experience. I used to physically shake when I told clients my rates because of how hard it was for me to receive money. My first adult relationship was deeply unequal in its power dynamics and I took years to recover from it. And I used to make friendships based on mothering people rather than true equitable connection, which left me perpetually drained. I over-gave at work and still never felt enough, participated in hustle and grind culture without break for years (thinking in order to make enough money or more money, I had to work hard, loose sleep, skip meals, etc.)....I've experienced debilitating depression and didn't truly believe healing existed. I looked around me at other people suffering and truly believed everyone was unwell like I was. My inner child concluded life was a crapshoot trauma fest, and I resonated with the millennial nihilism that tells us it will only get worse.
Today, I receive more money than I ever have and feel deep satisfaction in receiving it. I have more clients excited to work with me than ever, my relationships are beautiful and healthy, I am honored in my deep weirdness and authentic boundaries by my community on a daily basis and literally squeal with delight over how much I adore the people I'm surrounded by. I receive SO MUCH love and care and space and trust and gifting from my loved ones (and clients!) and know I am safe in doing so. I recently went through a big break up and while I was deeply sad and in a lot of pain for some time, I never lost myself or my gratitude in what I'd experienced and what is to come. I know exactly how to take care of myself, how to soothe my nervous system by receiving and creating pleasure every single day. I am well. I know I am allowed to be well and that it is safe to be well, even when my wellness or shine triggers other people. The amount of change and growth and healing that has happened is staggering, when I take it all in.
And I want to hold space for your unfolding into this–-the most pleasurable, well manifestation of yourself, who is able to serve others to the fullest capacity by bringing your true gifts to this world.
I was allergic to the word, coaching, for so long because it evoked two things for me: sports and hierarchy. This is NOT a sport. And I am not above or below you. We are two inherently worthy beings meeting in a collaborative effort to heal. I can’t wait to meet you and hold your process. With love.
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